April 01, 2019 / by mark

My Big Confession

Sorry, fam, but I have a big confession to make.

I know what you are thinking… I have a best-selling book about how to overcome obstacles with a giant penis… I have humbly bragged about the size of my penis much more than anybody else I know. Ever since I became a minor celebrity and attracted a sizable fanbase, I keep getting the question asked: “How big is your penis, Mark Covern?”

I get tons of requests for pictures of my penis. I have resisted answering questions and sending out photos because I have been hiding a secret this entire time. Bearing this secret has caused me to lose sleep ever since my book became a best-seller. the burden of guilt I feel as I roll around in all the money the book has brought me is finally too much. I must come clean to the world.

My penis is only 9 inches long. There… I said it. Only 9 inches.

Whew… it feels so good to get that off my chest. It’s as if a giant burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

In case you haven’t figured it out, APRIL FOOLS! Hahahaha… you should have seen the look on your faces… My penis is much larger than 9 inches. For now, I will continue to keep you all in suspense about the details.