March 15, 2019 / by mark
10 Reasons Why You Must Order My Book Larger Than Life
The consensus is in. The jig is up. Everybody is talking about my book Larger Than Life: Defeating the Challenges of Your Giant Penis (and Any Other Big Problem) and how life-changing it is.
Here are the top 10 reasons why you must order as many copies of my book as you can afford:
- Paperback books can be transported to virtually any location on earth. Going on a flight? Take the paperback book with you. Going to prison? Have a family member send you a paperback copy.
- According to a study at the Mark Covern Institute of Further Research, new information can be learned quicker and easier if the subject reading the information reads it via multiple mediums. We recommend purchasing both the ebook and the paperback version of Larger Than Life in order for the information to be absorbed effectively.
- Big Tech Silicon Valley Evil Barons (BTSVEB) can easily take away a digital ebook. Once my information becomes mainstream and pisses off the elite rulers of our reality (EROOR), they will have a much harder time of memory-holing my book if you have a physical paperback copy of my book.
- Mark Covern (me) himself will autograph any paperback copy of the book if a reader pays for shipping and provides a container with suitable return postage. Mark Covern is currently unable to autograph ebook editions of the book.
- The paperback edition of Larger Than Life includes a secret link and password to download a whitepaper from Mark Covern about how you too can potentially make millions with cryptocurrency with his secret system of buying and selling.
- Physical paperback books look much better on a shelf or a coffee table. Now is the time to show off your impressive penis size by buying a copy of this paperback book and featuring it prominently in your house.
- Just buy the fucking paperback book, okay? You’ve wasted more money on worse things before. Geez.
